Children’s motivation and healthy parenting: Satenik Hovhannisyan’s values and experience – Impulse Academy

Satenik Hovhannisyan is a candidate of pedagogical sciences, a historian-lawyer, and a continuously active public figure. As the president of the HAYK NGO, she contributes to the improvement of education and public life through her example and experience. Satenik pays great attention to the development of the younger generation and instilling healthy values in them. In our conversation, Satenik shared her views on parent-child relationships, the importance of education, motivation, and her personal approach to raising her son.

What role does the parent-child relationship play in a child's development and educational success? How can a parent become their child's greatest supporter?

The importance of building positive parent-child relationships in the family, the care, attitude, and attention of parents are crucial. The issues related to children are diverse and multifaceted, while their upbringing concerns are numerous and extensive. The primary issue within the family is the parent-child relationship. Discovering the types of a child's adaptability leads to the conclusion that the cause lies in the incorrect implementation of family upbringing and negative parent-child relationships.

Parents and children have a mutual communication need, which, depending on age characteristics, manifests in different ways. Over the years, specific patterns of relationships are formed between parents and children. For example, adolescents seek self-assertion, while teenagers seek self-expression. If they reach an understanding with their parents, they strive to actively participate in family life, ease their parents' burdens, and so on.

A parent's love and tenderness are essential prerequisites for a child's development. Some parents, seeing their children as misunderstood and simplistic beings, fail to consider their children's emotional characteristics. When a child feels lonely and abandoned, the key qualities necessary for psychological maturity—self-confidence and trust—do not develop. Parents must understand that children learn to love from their parents. A parent's behavior serves as an example for the child. Let’s not forget that at a certain age (6-10 years), a child identifies with the same-sex parent. This means that the child adopts the parent's attitudes and thoughts, striving to resemble them. Therefore, it is crucial to recognize that parents bear great responsibility in shaping their child's personality. By properly guiding the parenting process, we can achieve significant and noticeable progress in societal development, which will lead to further accomplishments.

I believe that a primary condition for a parent to support their child is the ability to communicate verbally, with no use of violence. As the greatest supporter, a parent should not instill the perfectionist syndrome in their child; the child should not fear failure. The perfectionist syndrome actually fosters weakness and a lack of social experience in overcoming failures. A child with this syndrome, even if they excel in school, is unprepared for the difficult phases of life. Allow the child to experience failure as well; show by example that it is normal, and that after failure, they can gather themselves and move forward to achieve new successes. I also believe that a crucial condition is the full recognition of the child by the parent.

What role does a parent's example play in a child's upbringing and success? From your experience, what habits serve as a good example for a child?

A parent is always the best example for a child. If we look at our own example, Arek always tells me that I am very determined and that whatever I set my mind to, I will achieve it. I see that he has also adopted this drive and made it his own, which makes me very happy. It is also important that the child does not live in an environment of lies, because if that happens, they will also imitate it and change naturally.

What is one of the most important elements of healthy parent-child relationships? What advice would you give parents to prevent conflicts?

One of the important elements of healthy relationships is the absence of overprotectiveness towards the child. Excessive care and attention from parents can push children away, and in order to escape the unnecessary control, they seek to go outside. To avoid tightening the child’s social circle, it is necessary to constantly encourage them and maintain connections with relatives. A child should not be isolated from their environment. They need to gain independence according to their age and capabilities. Children who do not receive enough warmth, love, and care at home feel degraded, experience violence, and begin to protect their rights in their own way, which are often illegal actions, leading to running away from home, behavioral changes, and conflicts. To prevent all of this, there must always be an atmosphere of love and warmth.

What can a parent do if they feel the bond with their child has weakened or there are problems? Where can they start to restore that connection?

The weakening of the parent-child bond can have various causes. In general, to restore it, I recommend spending a lot of time with the child, giving more love and attention, and trying to engage in their favorite activities, spending quality and direct time together. I believe that through long-term and similar actions, parents will restore their connection with their child.

You create motivational programs for schoolchildren. What are the main tools used in your programs that can help children stay focused and engaged in their learning process?

I focus on student self-expression. The more a teacher listens to and values the student's opinion, the higher the likelihood of conducting a productive and meaningful class in a non-violent, healthy atmosphere. If a child has to sit still, be afraid, and not be allowed to speak during the class process, I don’t consider that effective—teaching cannot happen in an atmosphere of fear without disruptions. In my programs, I also emphasize mastermind inspiration as a source of motivation. Besides being motivated, I also emphasize the disciplinary process in the learning process, through which the student gains non-impulsive focus.

What role does the parent play in the creation of a child's motivational system? What advice would you give to those who want to encourage their children without applying additional pressure?

I believe that a parent should be consistent without ignoring the child's individuality. In their demands, they should always be child-centered so that their desires are not imposed on the child, which could lead the child to lose their identity and have constant issues with concentration. Love, tolerance, conscious approach, and patience to all parents.

What are the most important values and habits you would like parents to pass on to their children to ensure they are motivated in their studies?

As I often mention, I would like parents to instill in their children the habit of learning everything in its own time. During the elementary school years, they should acquire foundational subject knowledge so that in higher grades or adulthood, they won’t have to focus on gaining basic knowledge.

What approaches do you use in raising your son, Areg? What are the main principles you follow in his education and development?

In reality, I am quite strict when it comes to Areg’s education. It is important for us to respect each other and understand that we need to manage time for homework, attending clubs, playing, spending time together, and going to bed at the right time. We’ve reached this balance quite easily, as other family members don’t have different approaches to this process, which makes my job easier. I raise Areg first as a disciplined student, then as a fair and patriotic citizen, who must always strive to be the best example for his family and country.

What advice would you give to parents who struggle to maintain a balance between their children's education and free time? In your opinion, how important is free time for a child's development?

I believe that a child should have free time during the day and be able to manage their time independently, of course under the supervision of the parents. This is important for fostering self-confidence and independence in the child. I think it is essential to strike the right balance when it comes to a child having free time. I would advise parents, in case of difficulty, to create a daily schedule and follow it initially, as this will help organize the day more clearly and become a ritual.

Are there specific methods that help Areg focus on his studies and stay motivated?

Areg is a child who gets motivated very quickly. We had issues with discipline, which we addressed through various exercises. Areg and I often watch and read success stories of famous people, which inspire him toward education and learning. I am lucky, as Areg loves reading and devours adventure literature. He enjoys staying informed and always keeps his finger on the pulse of current events. As a mother, I always support and guide him, never neglecting or forgetting to consider his wishes.

You can follow Satenik's activities on her Instagram blog, where she shares her experiences and ideas.